let the rain pour down on me

i find it funny how people become so desperate when it rains..
one minute they were enjoying their movie, dinner, or maybe shopping, the next, they are arguing with the petty cab driver for a 300 peso fare to their house..out in the rain..cold..shivering..not to mention their heart pumping very fast..heavy breathing..almost getting a heart attack..

im so happy i was at the warmth of yam’s arms while the rain was pouring..biscuit was also dry and warm just beside butch..

looking back at august 2007

if i could still remember 10 things about this time:

1. quitting sitel
2. getting a new job
3. being miserable at work
4. got sick
5. looking for a new place to stay

wah! i cant even remember 10! :p

walk the line

“why do you want to marry me in the first place?”
“so that i could kiss you anytime i like”

getting married nowadays, the way i see it, happens when two people loves each other that they would die next each other..or if the girl gets pregnant..
i just dont get it..why cant i be wed with anyone i love and adore? why would there be ‘complications’ involved? why this? why that?

i hope not to get married soon..but i still wanna kiss my yam yam anytime i want to..

movie magic

the love of siam is a must see movie..
i love what this movie signifies..it shows us that life can never be too great..but still we live each day and be thankful for what we have..even if somehow, sometime, we dont have anything at all..
we can never pick what we have, still, we can always work for something better..

i hope you guys can have the time to watch it..

what is the measure of a man?

 i could still remember the time when i was busy reading my book in gmrc back in grade school..i will never forget the common notion of ’success’..as the picture showed, a man can be called successful if he has a good, stable, high-paying day job with a two-storey, 3 bedroom house, a loving wife, jun-jun, nene, and bunso; of course we dont forget the ever loyal dog- bantay and ming-ming the cat..
the way i see it, its just unfair if success can be quantified by just that..in reality, i dont know anyone who has that..so can i say that nobody is successful? of course we know and can say that our boss is successful, if only he has a good family or he has no other women, worst- if he’s just not gay..
can we conclude that gay people can never be successful if we look at success this way?

whatever we choose, it’s our own..

death becomes her

 i stumbled on that line when i was reading the sunday paper..the first time i read it, i didnt know what it meant..now, somehow, and i would like to believe that i do..
i watched Kill Bill again and the character O-ren Ishii tickles my thought..
ive always fascinated about being a samurai..but i sure cannot pull this outfit..

life in the fast lane

its been quite a while since i worked..i almost forgot how good it feels..
i have decided that all i do now is work, work, and more work..i dont intend on being super-duper overly happy with where i work..it shouldnt matter anyway..
i dont want to think about how i drag myself each day to work..
i dont even want to know where all this will end up..
i hope to find a better working ‘condition’

soon

8/8/8

just because today is the opening of Olympics, i decided to get in with the flow..a lot of people are writing things about this date, just maybe, this is one hell of a day..
some say it happens once in a lifetime, true..
some say it is their start of new life, maybe..
some say it is the luckiest day this year, i dont know..

the way i see it, luck has been layed out to the person the moment that he was born..until the his last breath..
other factors- will, intelligence, beauty, perseverance, and determination will play a great role, but without luck, it would still go to waste..

tell me, are you lucky?

hey blog

i miss you (>_<)

when dreams end

i found myself lying in front of the mirror wearing my million-dollar attire last saturday and thinking whether i go for another assessment or not..i have read before that dreams should have a deadline as well or you end up chasing that dream forever and will eventually keep you offtrack to what you have..at first, i didnt mind what it said, but after seeing my cousin who works for emirates, i just confronted myself in ending it then and there..i dont know if i will eventually go on with my dream..chase it again when i want to..maybe i will..if there will be another ‘open day’ assessment with any flight carriers..
hopefully soon i will have a chance to go through an assessment again..this time, i just choose not to..

how do you keep on dancing?

it was an awkward moment to see best’s ex at home..apparently, he is now having the ‘time of his life’ now that he is single..well, thats what he was hoping to achieve..
he went out last weekend with a friend..it was his first time in one of the best bars in the metro..he had so much fun, that he forgot to go home until noon the following day..while he was telling us what happened, he paused and mentioned that best’s profile picture in friendster is with his friend that he’ll go to shanghai with this coming 8 8 8..

i thought he was happy with the night out..

questions still lingers in his mind..he now asks whether he wants to stay or just leave..clearly he is not over best just yet..well, who would? i dont believe that you would forget someone for the sake of forgetting..it would stick in your mind that you are now alone..that you were hurt..that you are again, without your significant other..

all things happen for a reason..
this too shall pass..
look at the bright side..

sometimes it is easy to fool ourselves..especially when you’re out with your friends..then you get to be alone and all the nasty things keep coming back..they just keep coming back..

strike a post

i have been feeling so low at work for quite some time now..im not challenged at what i do..im not impressed with any of my boss..i do not see myself growing..i cant even focus lately..
though i make sure i still deliver what i love doing- to teach..thats just the one thing this job cannot take away from me..i may have lost everything, but i do not loose my passion and my talents..

im eager to leave..soon..very very soon..

success

when can one say "wow, you are very successful" ?

is there a gauge?
what are the pre-requirements?
what should i do?
where do i sign up?

hell, everyone wants to be successful anyway..i might as well beat you to the curb..

goodbye to you

they say things happen for a reason..a good friend broke up with his partner who he had for quite sometime..all of a sudden, for no particular reason, he fell out of love, or maybe, just maybe, got tired..
i dont understand how or even why it happens..

would you know?

what are the signs?

can you fight it?

these are the questions i couldnt answer..hopefully as i grow wiser, ill learn how to properly answer these questions..
for the meantime, i would keep my hands locked with yam..

movie magic

 ive fixed my fascination with the movie SHELTER for quite some time now..still, i cannot get over it..the story moved me in more ways than one..i dont understand why, somehow it just does..
i am quite a fan of pink films, but this one i really love..i like the cinematography..the plot..the characters..and of course, the gorgeous actors..

if you ever have the chance..do watch it..
www.watch-movies.net/shelter

here’s a picture of a scene i really love..

beachabygolly!

 it was just about time for us to enjoy the last days of summer..good thing the company i work for have a summer outing program that brings everyone to the beach..luckily both me and yam, and butch were able to go..

it was at Laiya Beach resort in Batangas, the place is about 2 hours drive from Manila, without the usual traffic of course..its quite surreal to describe..i dont know, theres something about that place that screams "fag" to me..maybe just my imagination..i hope the flags will speak for themselves..

butch wanted to swim but unfortunately there were lifeguards saying that we couldnt go to deeper waters..i know how to swim, yam too..butch has his own life vest , but still we cant go elsewhere..butch then decided to collect seashells..luckily he got 2..hehehe..                            

more pics at www.myspace.com/callmerayo 

my quest continues

thursday, 22MAY2008..

had a light breakfast..was ready to face a new day..was ready to keep the world to myself..was ready to face the unknown..i am going to try my luck at PAL..this time is my time..i think..
i started off with a rough start..left home at half past 7..called for a cab just before i head the lobby..i was hoping to get a nice cab to help me get my nerves off..luckily when i went downstairs, a cab was not ready..the guard told me that it was already difficult to get one..so i tried my luck elsewhere..i went out to find a cab..it is extremely difficult to get a cab when you need it..i dont know what to do..im sweating like pig..time is ticking..

what to do? what to do?

i didnt know what to do, exactly..but i went to the mrt..luckily i got in through the morning rush hour to get to taft..then was finally able to get into a cab..jackpot!
the driver knows exactly where i need to go and why i needed to be there at that time..i arrived at PAL’s office at around 8:30am..silly me, i forgot to bring any IDs..all i had was my NBI clearance..good thing it was still valid..i was desperate to get in..

LATE

is the best word to describe it..

i still consider myself lucky because the interviewer was not there yet..i had to fill-up an information sheet with the other hopefuls as well..i did it as fast i could then had a quick go to the toilet..im all pumped up when i got back the room..

we started around 9am, we had a quick brief about who they’re looking for and a background about the company..

after that, we started the interview proper..it starts with telling the group something about yourself in two minutes time..it was in every class that i do, so i said to myself "kaya ko ito"..true enough, i can do it..smiling and not being so tensed with everything thats going on..after that, i was asked some questions..i answered it confidently and smiling, still smiling..i was then asked to do something that i was hoping they wouldnt- checking on my arms, skin, and teeth..i was hoping that they wouldnt notice the scar on my arms..that they will let pass..they didnt..

right before they announced who passed..i was still hoping id get in..to pass that wretched physical check..

unfortunately i didnt..maybe because of my scar..maybe because of my skin..maybe i just dont measure up..

i dont know if i still have to continue trying to reach for what i desire..maybe im not up for it anyway, so why should i?

:(

long june

things we do will keep haunting us the next time we look in our lives..little did i know that these are the exact same words i will be telling myself when this time comes..i guess this is the right time to actually say it to myself..if it wasnt for my pursuit of my ultimate goal- to be filthy rich, will i not come to realize that things are clearly in perspective..nowadays..
dream a little..                                
work harder..
keep on learning..
words we live by to keep us on our toes everyday..

on the lighter note—butch misses flying..he’s nagging me to go back to hongkong and see mum..im hoping to go though..with yam, of course..maybe by june..hopefully we could go..we’ve never really gone somewhere lately..

life and death

its been a while since i went to a wake..the last time i remembered going to one was when i was still in grade school..i cant remember everything in details, i was just happy that my mum went home even for a short time..i had no problems going, but of course im not excited to go either..

it got me thinking, what will happen to me if i die? who will be there?
i dont get to talk nor see my father, the last time was last christmas 2006..i just bumped into him..then i heard that he again went abroad for work, then got back home last april..without saying a word..it is but tiring to actually get close to him, or even see him..
mum’s busy with work, also abroad..

who will be there for me? who knows..

remembering the walk to remember

i was just looking at imeem’s latest music when i saw the song cry by mandy moore..i couldnt help myself but play it..all the memories came back like it was just yesterday..wah!!! im getting old!!!
then when i checked my email, beng sent me these pictures of baguio..i dont remember going back home since i moved out..i dont know when i could come back..i sure wish i could..someday soon..

i miss home..i miss my family..i miss my friends..i miss burnham park..i miss starbucks and my partners before..i miss my school..i miss my dogs..hay..i miss baguio..

do you miss me too?